¶ … second and fourth chapter of the book. Specifically, the topics that will be covered are self-esteem, self-motivation and emotional intelligence. There were related and ancillary themes in each of those chapters but those three will be the primary focus. Indeed, those three items are the linchpins of living and operating effectively. However, having those metrics and facets of one's psyche out of whack in either direction can lead to problems with perceptions and outcomes and thus they are worth of some specific and measured review. The True & Realistic Self

It is undeniable that people that have strong self-esteem, self-motivation and emotional intelligence are much stronger people in terms of perseverance, overall performance and how they deal with adversity. However, there would seem to be a good amount of people that are a bit over-inflated in terms of self-esteem, are a bit underwhelming with personal motivation and they perceive the results and feedback wrongly because their emotional intelligence is not what it should be. To use an example, the recent Great Recession proved that many newer graduates are exemplifying the "boomerang generation" whereby they younger adults of the United States goes to school and they may or may not graduate. Regardless, these boomerang kids tend to end up back in their parents' homes due to an inability to find jobs in their field and/or that will pay an acceptable wage. While there is certainly some validity to that concept, there would also seem to be a lot of people that have an over-inflated sense of self-esteem, their self-motivation is in the basement as compared to where it needs to be or should be and they feel offended and perturbed rather than think introspectively about what they might be doing wrong or are leaving undone. Concurrent to that in many cases are people that make some alarming lifestyle and career choices. Rather than be contrite and perhaps even apologetic when they step out of line, many of the young in today's world are ambivalent to hostile for others judging them. The word "hater" and "you can't judge me" seem to get thrown around a lot. Some assert that these bloat self-images start at a young age and due to bad parenting and/or schooling (Goldfarb, 2014; Kluger, 2014).

These people often seem to be ascribing to the idea that the opinions of others should not matter when it comes to make lifestyle choices. While this may hold true in a lot of cases and for good reason, there are other situations where it could and should hold true. Rather than these people crossing all the wrong boundaries being sorry and apologetic for what they have done, they have (or at least portend to have) a strong self-esteem about what they have done. They portray themselves as motivated and going places even if they cannot explain exactly how they are doing that. Further, their emotional intelligence is a bit twisted as they condemn what others have to say and think about their improper actions rather than looking at the value that exists in what those other people are saying or thinking (Ko, 2000).

Indeed, there seems to be a disturbing pattern whereby people are conflating the right to live life in the pursuit of absence and doing so in a way that disturbs norms, values and so forth of the nearby and regional community. Indeed, having a child out of wedlock would be one example. It used to be extremely rare for that to occur but it is now half of all birth in the United States. While many single-parent and step-parent household situations survive and thrive, it is without a doubt less optimal to have a single parent household than a two-parent one. So often, these out-of-wedlock children are borne and born of situations where a woman seeks out love and engages in careless birth control practices (along with the man as well, for sure) and thus end up getting pregnant by men who are disinterested in being a father and/or being with the woman in question in a relationship and so on. A person with true self-esteem and self-motivation would not allow themselves to fall for the charms of a man who is not actually seeking a long-term and fulfilling relationship, let alone marriage. A person that is emotionally intelligent will realize the difference between love and lust and thus will use human relations tactics with their prospective or actual partners that are conducive to strong relationships, effective family planning and so forth....

The stunning dearth of these sorts of discussions and dynamics in many of today's relationships is having an obvious and detrimental effect to the family structure in today's America. Households with one or more parental figure missing in action leads to self-esteem and self-motivation issues for future generations and the emotional intelligence for htose future generations is also stunted to non-existent. How these struggling youth define love, relationships, family and so forth becomes more and more averse to what reality should at least closely resemble. There is no affixed and firm template of what a "family" should look like but there are plenty of examples of what it should not look like (Liu & Heiland, 2012).
While all of this may not seem to jell with the subject of human relations in a workplace or organization sense, it absolutely can and does interface with other parts of life and this includes the workplace. When people that are self-entitled, immature, rude, unmotivated and so forth work in a job, they are usually jettisoned quite quickly. When there are people that have proven nothing in the real world are asked to do certain jobs like fast food and the like, they often suggest that such jobs are "beneath them" even if that is just obviously false given the lack of prior history of performance and positive outcomes to justify such an entitlement. People that have proper emotional intelligence will know what to do when they are challenged, stressed and/or they have a need to communicate objectively, constructively and respectfully to people like managers and so forth. Indeed, self-destructive and sociopathic behaviors that defy what proper self-esteem, self-motivation and emotional intelligence should look like abound but there is also a lot of good (Banks & Coutu, 2008).

To be more specific, not all of the youth of today are like what is described above. Many condemn the youth of today as being the demise of America and that the country is going into the toilet. There are some disturbing trends that need to reverse themselves. However, the penchant for the older and more mature Americans to look down on the young just because they assume the worst about them is not fair or proper either. Part of emotional intelligence is to avoid and stay away from conflict and a huge part of that is not making presumptions and assigning stereotypes to people because they are young adults. Many young adults are in a state of flux and make bad choices and do quite well. However, many others have strong self-esteems that are rooted right along with strong self-motivation and a realistic emotional intelligence. Conversely, there are many older adults that are immature, have never really got their lives on track due to a lack of proper lifestyle patterns and choices and this can lead to bitterness and deflection in the form of condemning the young (Blain, 2008).

What is important for people of all ages and backgrounds to learn is that they are part of a huge system that is society. Everything that someone says, leaves unsaid, gestures, types, points to and otherwise does fuels perceptions of others and what is thought about them. This can be paralyzing and troubling to many but it can also be used as a tool to create positive perceptions. Just as one example, someone listening to another person with their arms crossed is going to send off some bad messages to anyone who knows anything about non-verbal communication. This can hold true even if the person listening does not intend to portray such a message. At a higher level, there is also a message that is sent based on the lifestyle choices, friends, speaking style and so forth that can be formed, rightly or wrongly, by others who take in the proverbial show. Speaking in slang and with texting jargon does not mean someone is stupid, just as one example. However, it can send entirely the wrong message in terms of the emotional intelligence used and wielded by others. On the same note, being too quited and reserved can lead to others thinking that a person is sheepish, not motived and perhaps even has a low self-esteem. This can be the case, but not always. Regardless, the quiet person has to know how they come off when they act in such a way and they should react accordingly if they wish to change that perception (Sigmar, Hynes & Hill, 2012).

Conclusion

To be sure, there are plenty of people that are egging…